What was once extremely taboo is now slowly becoming a part of mainstream society: fetish. What once would have made
you a sexual deviant in society, makes you fairly normal today. Honestly, I’d be more surprised by someone who
doesn’t like to get choked than someone who’s a full dungeon master (and no I don’t mean that in terms of D&D… However, I think there could be some overlap between those
worlds… but that’s not important right now).
What’s more important is that fetish is on the front page of magazines, strutting down runways, singing in songs, and plastering itself all over your Twitter feed. Honestly, you’re more of a sexual deviant if you’re not calling your sexual partner’s Daddy.
This increase in popularity has everything to do with artists (in fashion, music, etc.) looking for something shocking. For them, that was found in the darker world of S&M and fetish. Of course, we have to give 50 Shades credit where credit is due; this smutty phenomenon has changed societal feelings about bondage as well as Valentine’s Day move releases. Now, you can’t go to a bookstore without finding a solid stack full of 50 Shades of Grey clones in the “Romance” section.
Now that fetish is not only popular but more widely accepted; people are looking for ways to integrate long suppressed kinky fantasies into their sex life. While 50 Shades is a great gateway drug, you can’t rely on that movie for any accurate information (no, slave contracts aren’t really a thing!).
So where do you go to learn more about kink or to find a kinky partner? How do you find your way into the expanding kinky community? I find that the internet is the best place to start!
If you need some information, a willing partner, or some material to jerk it to these sites are going to be the best place for you!
Before I launch into my rave reviews of these three sites, I do want to issue a word of warning: while most people in the kink community will be the nicest people you’ve ever met… every community has its bad eggs. Be careful of people who use the fact that they identify as an Dom as a reason to be abusive assholes. While kink and fetish are fun, there are people out there who will try to ruin your day. So be careful!
And if – and hopefully when – you try stuff out in real life, be careful! Kink can be dangerous. While the danger is part of the fun for most people, it’s best to keep the danger in your head. So be careful. Don’t tie someone up without having scissors nearby, be careful with breath play, and never ignore a safe word!
Now that the disclaimer is out of the way… let’s get into the juicy material! Here are my favorite three fetish sites online:
When it comes to the kinky community, Fetlife is the hub. While I maintain that the other sites on this list are
great, a Fetlife account is a must-have for anyone looking to get involved in any kind of fetish.
This site bills itself as Facebook for kinky people, which I think is the best way they could possibly describe themselves!
When you make an account, you’ll be asked to fill out some basic information about yourself (like your gender, sexuality, sexual role, and what you’re looking for). There are a ton of options for these questions! Which is great, because just like sexuality and gender are spectrums, so is what you’re looking for or how you might identify in your sexual roles.
You can then fill out you're About Me section (I recommend being descriptive!). Make sure you include hobbies and interests outside of sex. A lot of people within the kink community are passionate people; you’ll find that there will be groups for about every interest both sexual and non-sexual.
I also recommend filling out your kinks! They go from super specific to general, so go crazy. This will help people pursuing profiles to get a feel for what you’re into! You can also list your limits (both hard and soft). Those who like what they see in your about me and in your kink list will usually reach out and send a message!
You can also browse the Kinky and Popular pages which show the most popular blog posts, photos, and videos on the site. You’ll have to upgrade if you want to see videos (this will cost you $5 a month for six months) but it’s totally worth it.
In addition to the photos and videos that are hosted on the site (which are some of the best and kinkiest amateur-ish stuff you’ll find on the internet), you can find groups and events too! If you’re looking to get out there and connect with your local fetish community, this is the best way to do so. Chat up some people and go out to a local munch to get to know the people.
As far as meeting people and getting involved goes, Fetlife should be your first stop on your kinky journey!
While I’m clearly a big fan of Fetlife… these other sites have their place. Alt.com is definitely the
place that you should go if you’re looking to search for someone super specific.
While Fetlife doesn’t have a ton of paywalls, you’re going to have to pay to use this site. Fetlife is more about the long game. Alt.com is more about finding someone and finding someone now!
This site will run you somewhere between $9 a month and $12 a month. But if you’re looking for someone to get laid immediately, I recommend checking out this site.
Again, if you’re looking for someone now – or to be sexually entertained now – then KinkySexDates should
definitely be on the list of sites to join.
What I love about this site is that they have a ton of porn hosted on the site and they also have live cam girls on the site! I’m a big fan, and I definitely think this site is worth checking out.